Last month, we shared the 15 foundational principles of good service to help brands shape customer experience through intentional design. While everyone claims to provide great customer service, few actually measure or define it. Without clear standards and consistent follow-through, even the friendliest gestures can fall flat.
But what happens when your service appears warm on the surface, yet lacks authenticity at its core? Faux hospitality—the kind that smiles but forgets your name—can quietly erode trust. The worst part? Your client, customer, or prospect likely won’t tell you. Instead, they’ll shift their attention elsewhere, quietly, and permanently.
I recently experienced this firsthand at a co-working space—a perfect case study in how culture and customer experience collide.
A Beautiful Facade
The brand is stylish. The aesthetic: rustic-chic. The perks? Impeccable. Think: 24/7 access, fast Wi-Fi, endless locally sourced coffee, and spaces so clean and comfortable they could double as a retreat. I’ve been a member for several months now, happily saving on lattes and enjoying the focused atmosphere outside my home office.
A few weeks ago, I found myself in the space nearly alone—just me and a team member finishing up cleaning and stocking. With no one else around, a simple hello turned into a 15-minute conversation. She was from Ireland. Her child was applying to college. She shared her travels, her perspective, her story. It was a genuinely warm moment, one that reminded me how real rapport can shape a brand’s experience.
I walked away thinking, “They really do hire hospitable people.”
The Disconnect
Fast forward a week or two. I ran into the same staff member at a different location. Happy to see her, I waved.
She didn’t wave back.
In fact, her entire demeanor changed—cautious, guarded, unfamiliar. When she entered the coffee station where I stood, I said warmly, “So great to see you again!” But it was clear she didn’t remember me at all. I tried to jog her memory by referencing our earlier chat, but the spark never lit.
Had this been a one-time oddity, I might have shrugged it off.
A Pattern Emerges
Around the same time, I emailed the company—full of praise and offering to help them attract new members. After a few handoffs, an executive replied. He was polite but missed the point entirely. Rather than acknowledging the intent of my message—about marketing and member acquisition—he sent me resources on evaluating new real estate markets. Relevant to them, sure. But not relevant to me.
This misfire further revealed a pattern: a friendly brand on the surface, but a disconnected experience underneath.
Real Hospitality Requires Real Listening
True hospitality isn’t just about being friendly. It’s about being present.
In our 15 customer experience standards, we emphasize the importance of using your customer’s name, acknowledging personal milestones and challenges, and creating space for connection—not just transaction. It’s in the moments where you stop, make eye contact, smile, and listen that real trust is built.
Connection is not a side effect of good service—it is the service.
When friendliness lacks follow-through, it creates a dangerous illusion: the feeling that you’ve done enough, while the customer quietly disengages.
From Transactions to Advocacy
The takeaway? Don’t just train your team to smile. Train them to remember. Don’t just be warm—be real.
Create systems and culture that support genuine, ongoing connection. Measure it. Improve it. And make it a core part of your brand’s DNA.
Because when you build real relationships, you don’t just close on a home—you create advocates.